I knew they were coming, I could hear their shoes marching closer to the hiding spot. At that moment, regret entered my head, a flashback led me to when I finally persuaded my wife to keep the gold “But where will we hide it?”, instead of giving it to the King as we were commanded so. I thought I knew what I was doing but I guess not. Before I knew it I was being dragged out of the tree and the gold slipped from my grip. All I could think about was… what was going to happen next?
Hi Isabella,
ReplyDeleteThis is an interesting idea. I like how you've set the mood and tone of the piece by you precise word choices. Try not to overuse commas; perhaps try to use semi-colons to link your ideas instead/as well. This has left me intrigued and with many questions: what happened to your wife? Did they find the gold in the tree too? What did happen to you? This is what a good piece of writing does, it makes you want to keep reading, it leaves you wanting more. Keep up the good work.